I cried too. That is the problem with walking through memories. Seeing life in hindsight. Trying to understand the how and why of it all. Paul was a beacon of light for me.
I’m hoping to have the next chapter ready either tomorrow or Thursday. 🤞
What stayed with me wasn't so much the reconnection itself, but the discovery that someone had kept reaching across the years while you were busy surviving. There is something profoundly sad and beautiful about that.
I also found myself thinking about the line, "I had simply disappeared inside my own life." I suspect many of us know something about that. There are seasons when survival takes up so much space that entire parts of ourselves slip quietly beneath the surface without us even noticing.
What touched me most was the gentleness of it all. No blame. No demands. Just someone continuing to show up year after year, and the shock of discovering that you mattered to them all along.
Thank you for sharing this. It left me reflecting on the people, and perhaps even the parts of ourselves, that wait patiently to be rediscovered.
I always value your feedback so much. It’s like you just get it. I actually find that I do that a lot…the disappearing inside of my own life….i never noticed that that is what I do until recently. Survival is a place I’m so accustomed to that I’m not sure I know how to function without it. It’s become my friend, in a way. I have had many moments along my life journey when I have been extremely blessed. Right or wrong, Paul was on of those blessings.
People can be a blessing and not a blessing at the same time. Nobody is perfect and nobody is imperfect. People can love us and still hurt us just as we can love and still hurt. Hiding to survive is so common and learning not hide is so hard
Rachel, this is so beautifully written. I fully understand second chances. We all need and crave attention, even if it comes from the person who has made our lives unstable. But having that one special person who got away is devastating and heartbreaking. PAUL was the one person who understood and protected your heart from falling apart. The hardest part is hoping he hasn't forgotten how much you care for him every waking moment.
I love this so much!! discovering someone had been there all along, on your side, hoping things are well and you just didn't know. it was such a strange time in life, Covid really put us in bubbles, literally. so glad you reconnected and excited to hear the rest of the story!!!
Your writing always stirs things in me but this? Damnit you made me cry!
I don't cry!!
I can totally understand how things can get so out of control and hectic that sometimes we have to prune certain aspects just to make space but...
Now I'm waiting for the next chapter!!
I'm mad at you now. I don't cry, and you totally made me.
Ok maybe I'm not mad at you. But really, this was incredible. Wow.
I cried too. That is the problem with walking through memories. Seeing life in hindsight. Trying to understand the how and why of it all. Paul was a beacon of light for me.
I’m hoping to have the next chapter ready either tomorrow or Thursday. 🤞
This really moved me.
What stayed with me wasn't so much the reconnection itself, but the discovery that someone had kept reaching across the years while you were busy surviving. There is something profoundly sad and beautiful about that.
I also found myself thinking about the line, "I had simply disappeared inside my own life." I suspect many of us know something about that. There are seasons when survival takes up so much space that entire parts of ourselves slip quietly beneath the surface without us even noticing.
What touched me most was the gentleness of it all. No blame. No demands. Just someone continuing to show up year after year, and the shock of discovering that you mattered to them all along.
Thank you for sharing this. It left me reflecting on the people, and perhaps even the parts of ourselves, that wait patiently to be rediscovered.
I always value your feedback so much. It’s like you just get it. I actually find that I do that a lot…the disappearing inside of my own life….i never noticed that that is what I do until recently. Survival is a place I’m so accustomed to that I’m not sure I know how to function without it. It’s become my friend, in a way. I have had many moments along my life journey when I have been extremely blessed. Right or wrong, Paul was on of those blessings.
People can be a blessing and not a blessing at the same time. Nobody is perfect and nobody is imperfect. People can love us and still hurt us just as we can love and still hurt. Hiding to survive is so common and learning not hide is so hard
Tell me more!
Oh, it’s coming….in the works now. ❤️
Can’t wait!! Tag me, so I won’t miss it, please.
Will do.
Thx!
Rachel, this is so beautifully written. I fully understand second chances. We all need and crave attention, even if it comes from the person who has made our lives unstable. But having that one special person who got away is devastating and heartbreaking. PAUL was the one person who understood and protected your heart from falling apart. The hardest part is hoping he hasn't forgotten how much you care for him every waking moment.
Paul was the brightest light for me. I was so surprised to find those emails. So grateful, but, so very shocked.
Brilliant. Cinematic. You have the easy confidence of a natural storyteller. Rare gift
Thank you so much John. Thanks for sticking with me through my chaos. I appreciate it more that you know.
I love this so much!! discovering someone had been there all along, on your side, hoping things are well and you just didn't know. it was such a strange time in life, Covid really put us in bubbles, literally. so glad you reconnected and excited to hear the rest of the story!!!