Rachel, you remind me of someone—someone who had both the pain and the strength you have. Although the life you had to lead left you in a very vulnerable and lonely place, you kept fighting and pushing ahead. In the end, nothing to show for it. Your baby and your motivation kept you alive. Somehow, you came out on top! 🫶
Thanks for reading. My guess is that we have a lot in common. Living in survival is hard. But, yes, I spent an entire year working on myself and waking up. I’m finally in the home stretch.
Racheal, This is such a painful and familiar story. As a man in recovery (26+ years) I know this space. It is tragic and traumatic. You're brave to share it here. Perhaps the sharing will bring some healing to others and you...
Up until this point, I would read and try and find the good part in him, the part that wasn't lost under the medical issues, the part that could be redeemed.
After this, I don't think I can find those self-inspired illusions anymore. You write it in such a way that I can *feel* everything you went through and are still going through. I understand better than I had where things had been and the only path they could go. I'm so sorry to see this story, to feel that pain you lived with every day, to see you crying in the shower and driving through tears, to cruise around the block with the radio playing debating "Should I take another lap?" This is the kind of story I'd write for likes, you lived it. I'm so sorry for you, and I sincerely hope you're moving forward in finding peace and a future.
The worst part is I can still sympathize to a point with him. Pain makes us do anything to make it stop and while I can't condone everything, just thinking about a life where you wake up in so much pain that it's better to sleep the day away at best case? I think I'd respect him more if he talked instead of hiding things, but stealing from your family? Unforgiveable.
Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and the power behind it. I do hope things get better for all of you.
And yes, it’s a hard story to tell because people wonder why I stayed. Why I disappeared? Why? It just wasn’t so simple. There wasn’t a clear villain. Unfortunately I stayed in limbo for far too long.
Why is the easy part. Love? Marriage? Commitment? Faith? All logical and honest answers. It’s hard to stay, harder to walk away. No one wins. At least by walking away, you stop the cycle, cut your losses and give yourself a new start.
Rachel, you remind me of someone—someone who had both the pain and the strength you have. Although the life you had to lead left you in a very vulnerable and lonely place, you kept fighting and pushing ahead. In the end, nothing to show for it. Your baby and your motivation kept you alive. Somehow, you came out on top! 🫶
Yes. I lived in survival for a very long time. I didn’t even know that’s what it was. I really thought it was just the hand I was dealt.
This is rough. I can't say much more. I see aspects of my own life, but not to this degree.
Are you in a better place now?
Thanks for reading. My guess is that we have a lot in common. Living in survival is hard. But, yes, I spent an entire year working on myself and waking up. I’m finally in the home stretch.
Racheal, This is such a painful and familiar story. As a man in recovery (26+ years) I know this space. It is tragic and traumatic. You're brave to share it here. Perhaps the sharing will bring some healing to others and you...
I see you.
Thank you.
Up until this point, I would read and try and find the good part in him, the part that wasn't lost under the medical issues, the part that could be redeemed.
After this, I don't think I can find those self-inspired illusions anymore. You write it in such a way that I can *feel* everything you went through and are still going through. I understand better than I had where things had been and the only path they could go. I'm so sorry to see this story, to feel that pain you lived with every day, to see you crying in the shower and driving through tears, to cruise around the block with the radio playing debating "Should I take another lap?" This is the kind of story I'd write for likes, you lived it. I'm so sorry for you, and I sincerely hope you're moving forward in finding peace and a future.
The worst part is I can still sympathize to a point with him. Pain makes us do anything to make it stop and while I can't condone everything, just thinking about a life where you wake up in so much pain that it's better to sleep the day away at best case? I think I'd respect him more if he talked instead of hiding things, but stealing from your family? Unforgiveable.
Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and the power behind it. I do hope things get better for all of you.
Thank you.
And yes, it’s a hard story to tell because people wonder why I stayed. Why I disappeared? Why? It just wasn’t so simple. There wasn’t a clear villain. Unfortunately I stayed in limbo for far too long.
Why is the easy part. Love? Marriage? Commitment? Faith? All logical and honest answers. It’s hard to stay, harder to walk away. No one wins. At least by walking away, you stop the cycle, cut your losses and give yourself a new start.