When Bob, the district manager over our store at “The Lou,” called a few weeks before I was scheduled to return from maternity leave, I was standing in my kitchen with the baby on my shoulder and my oldest building something out of Legos at my feet.
I don't know how you managed to stay after the girl you trained betrayed you so deliberately. I understand part of that reason was your husband, who you feared might not be able to keep a job because of his illness. Another part was your belief that you were going back to a family, but in reality, you returned betrayed. Your baby came first, so you made the right choice by leaving. Thank God you always had a shoulder to cry on…Paul’s.
I’d love to say that in the years since this happened, I’d forgiven and moved past this. I realized while writing, I have done neither. Some cuts are too deep. I still very much do not like her. I honestly do not know how she sleeps at night.
I am sorry that happened to you because it also came at a time that is unrecognized in most women's lives, postpartum. Your husband, while none of my business, sounds like he has struggles of his own and might not be the most supportive, so of course your work was your pride. We women, or men, who didn't get to go from prep school to university, may have had to shine in places such as restaurant or retail jobs, so they mean a lot to us and our self-esteem, so I get you. I was that single mom and bartender extraordinaire, that became a manager and blah blah blah, I was paying all my bills.
As for women, they are the dirtiest scoundrels in the bunch. Men are pigs, but you see them coming and they are too stupid and usually fuck something this up by trying to take you to bed. Women, they are a different animal and as you get older, you find you only need a couple in your life. That Jessica, she's going to meet herself one day and it's going to be unpleasant. I'm going to sound like a cold ass bitch, but we women have been expected to be the bigger person and forgive too much, NO, just no!
The bright side, unfortunately, because getting our asses kicked does that, you got your babies longer with you and you found something else in yourself that you were good at, creative wise. That is something you can always build on.
There is a saying, "Karma is not a bitch. She is a little old lady sitting, waiting to serve you the tea you have been serving others."
I love this. Jessica….id love to be able to say I’ve grown enough to move past it, but, the truth is that while writing this I felt the same betrayal now as I did then. I loved that place. Loved those kids like they were mine. I was so invested in them and in that place. Losing it felt like losing my whole self. But, I didn’t. I had my boys. And, I make my husband public here so I think you have every right to say anything you want about him. He’s his own worst enemy. But, a supportive partner he has never been. I mad a lot of choices…not all good, but, I still look back and think lucky I was that I did have someone who saw me. Right or wrong, I needed that in that moment.
We carry a lot. Life expects more than our bodies can even give sometimes and then it adds even more.
I love that you were a bartender, too. I always felt that I was lucky to have had the experiences that came with bar life. Opportunities no one else I knew got to have. And as a pretty serious introvert, it forced me to be social in a very controlled way. I was able to pick and choose who I wanted to interact with. Dude got weird, I could make myself so busy I didn’t even have to look at him. People were cool, I had all the time in the world to feel like I was part of their party. I miss it. Sort of. 😂
To pour everything into a place only to have it crap you out like that? It's sad but it's happening everywhere. Even with me, I've been mostly offline all week working on special projects in the office and I feel the same way you described. Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry the Lou is just another footnote. I'd love to hear the story of you going back and having them, those who haven't churned, tell you how the place has fallen apart with you gone. That would be a great story.
Well, that actually has happened. About 5 years ago I read an article that they had closed over half of their locations. When the original owners sold, it went to a corporate holding company. The CEO that was eventually established tried to run it as a complete corporate entity. And it crashed and burned. That wasn’t the original vision. The original vision is what made it what it was. My old store did survive the cut, but, it’s not the same. No one goes there anymore like they once did. It lost its roots.
I’m sorry that your job doesn’t feel like home anymore either. It’s hard when you dedicate your life to four walls and show up as your best version just to be betrayed….either by the people or the system itself. I’d like to say I could forgive Jessica. But, the truth is is that although I’ve moved on, even writing this brought it all back. I’m still not big enough to forgive it. Maybe someday….
Not everyone can be forgiven. Some pains, some betrayals, are too much. People can argue with me on this but there are people who don’t deserve forgiveness, though I say this trusting your judgment and depiction.
For sure. That is fair. There is alway another side. I missed three months. I have no idea what happened while I was gone. But, what I do know is that I hand chose her and made her my mini me so that we didn’t lose momentum while I was gone. And she owned it and made it hers. She won. I didn’t even fight her for it. Oh well. It forced growth and I got the gift of being present with my kids back.
Did she win? The place is gone. I don’t know if that counts as a win. You won by having more time with your children and also surviving the loss of your beloved Lou. Imagine being inside when the walls fell.
wow I feel that. my story is very similar. remember the sympathy card? bitch. She and Jessica can go eff themselves together. what Kathleen said rings true at least with men you see it coming. you know their reasons and it doesn't make it better just more obvious. so glad you are in a better place and I continue to love your story!!!!
I do remember. As I recall I was ready to go kick her for you. It’s been years since that happened, but, I cried more tears writing that chapter because I’d never known betrayal like that before. I couldn’t fathom doing that to someone who literally gift wrapped their job and ties it with a bow and said here you go….and, the men….my guess is that she had been speaking her mind about me the whole time I was gone. I was having a baby. It wasn’t like I was in safari knocking things off my bucket list. But, live and learn. Turns out that it all lined up exactly how it should have anyway. Thanks for always showing up. I appreciate it.
I don't know how you managed to stay after the girl you trained betrayed you so deliberately. I understand part of that reason was your husband, who you feared might not be able to keep a job because of his illness. Another part was your belief that you were going back to a family, but in reality, you returned betrayed. Your baby came first, so you made the right choice by leaving. Thank God you always had a shoulder to cry on…Paul’s.
I’d love to say that in the years since this happened, I’d forgiven and moved past this. I realized while writing, I have done neither. Some cuts are too deep. I still very much do not like her. I honestly do not know how she sleeps at night.
I am sorry that happened to you because it also came at a time that is unrecognized in most women's lives, postpartum. Your husband, while none of my business, sounds like he has struggles of his own and might not be the most supportive, so of course your work was your pride. We women, or men, who didn't get to go from prep school to university, may have had to shine in places such as restaurant or retail jobs, so they mean a lot to us and our self-esteem, so I get you. I was that single mom and bartender extraordinaire, that became a manager and blah blah blah, I was paying all my bills.
As for women, they are the dirtiest scoundrels in the bunch. Men are pigs, but you see them coming and they are too stupid and usually fuck something this up by trying to take you to bed. Women, they are a different animal and as you get older, you find you only need a couple in your life. That Jessica, she's going to meet herself one day and it's going to be unpleasant. I'm going to sound like a cold ass bitch, but we women have been expected to be the bigger person and forgive too much, NO, just no!
The bright side, unfortunately, because getting our asses kicked does that, you got your babies longer with you and you found something else in yourself that you were good at, creative wise. That is something you can always build on.
There is a saying, "Karma is not a bitch. She is a little old lady sitting, waiting to serve you the tea you have been serving others."
I love this. Jessica….id love to be able to say I’ve grown enough to move past it, but, the truth is that while writing this I felt the same betrayal now as I did then. I loved that place. Loved those kids like they were mine. I was so invested in them and in that place. Losing it felt like losing my whole self. But, I didn’t. I had my boys. And, I make my husband public here so I think you have every right to say anything you want about him. He’s his own worst enemy. But, a supportive partner he has never been. I mad a lot of choices…not all good, but, I still look back and think lucky I was that I did have someone who saw me. Right or wrong, I needed that in that moment.
We carry a lot. Life expects more than our bodies can even give sometimes and then it adds even more.
I love that you were a bartender, too. I always felt that I was lucky to have had the experiences that came with bar life. Opportunities no one else I knew got to have. And as a pretty serious introvert, it forced me to be social in a very controlled way. I was able to pick and choose who I wanted to interact with. Dude got weird, I could make myself so busy I didn’t even have to look at him. People were cool, I had all the time in the world to feel like I was part of their party. I miss it. Sort of. 😂
To pour everything into a place only to have it crap you out like that? It's sad but it's happening everywhere. Even with me, I've been mostly offline all week working on special projects in the office and I feel the same way you described. Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry the Lou is just another footnote. I'd love to hear the story of you going back and having them, those who haven't churned, tell you how the place has fallen apart with you gone. That would be a great story.
Well, that actually has happened. About 5 years ago I read an article that they had closed over half of their locations. When the original owners sold, it went to a corporate holding company. The CEO that was eventually established tried to run it as a complete corporate entity. And it crashed and burned. That wasn’t the original vision. The original vision is what made it what it was. My old store did survive the cut, but, it’s not the same. No one goes there anymore like they once did. It lost its roots.
I’m sorry that your job doesn’t feel like home anymore either. It’s hard when you dedicate your life to four walls and show up as your best version just to be betrayed….either by the people or the system itself. I’d like to say I could forgive Jessica. But, the truth is is that although I’ve moved on, even writing this brought it all back. I’m still not big enough to forgive it. Maybe someday….
Not everyone can be forgiven. Some pains, some betrayals, are too much. People can argue with me on this but there are people who don’t deserve forgiveness, though I say this trusting your judgment and depiction.
For sure. That is fair. There is alway another side. I missed three months. I have no idea what happened while I was gone. But, what I do know is that I hand chose her and made her my mini me so that we didn’t lose momentum while I was gone. And she owned it and made it hers. She won. I didn’t even fight her for it. Oh well. It forced growth and I got the gift of being present with my kids back.
Did she win? The place is gone. I don’t know if that counts as a win. You won by having more time with your children and also surviving the loss of your beloved Lou. Imagine being inside when the walls fell.
wow I feel that. my story is very similar. remember the sympathy card? bitch. She and Jessica can go eff themselves together. what Kathleen said rings true at least with men you see it coming. you know their reasons and it doesn't make it better just more obvious. so glad you are in a better place and I continue to love your story!!!!
I do remember. As I recall I was ready to go kick her for you. It’s been years since that happened, but, I cried more tears writing that chapter because I’d never known betrayal like that before. I couldn’t fathom doing that to someone who literally gift wrapped their job and ties it with a bow and said here you go….and, the men….my guess is that she had been speaking her mind about me the whole time I was gone. I was having a baby. It wasn’t like I was in safari knocking things off my bucket list. But, live and learn. Turns out that it all lined up exactly how it should have anyway. Thanks for always showing up. I appreciate it.
I’d definitely kick her for you lol.